1: Who are you and why do you believe you have so many answers?

I achieved enlightenment or a state of nirvana by pushing with my entire mind, spirit and soul, to 'go away', 'to escape', the words of the women looking down on me. Every adjective she used to describe who she thought I was, pierced my being. Eventually, killing my reality. She was my love; no words uttered from another meant more then hers, at that time.

Then, I existed in two places, simultaneously, and had a dual awareness feeling as though “I” had lost it’s meaning. One consciousness was on the bed and governing my physical body, the other was solitary in a peaceful emptiness. Before my mind could define the lack of light as darkness and attach the instinctual fear associated with a void of sensation, an outline of a door appeared in golden light, turning the emptiness black in contrast. Even at 22 I sometimes feel afraid in the dark, but I was consciously aware of a deep, encompassing love justifying my trust and openness. I reached out for the door and as my arm extended for contact, its molecules began to vibrate, creating a gradient, from physicality (my momentary definition of self) to energy, and my fingertips merged with the light emitting from the portal. As the door opened and light reached out for me, I became the light, focused in a beam, traveling to its source.
The entrance revealed a vast city of gold so reflective that it seemed barely more solid then energy. I immediately knew that the city was the kingdom of God, and that its appearance was symbolic to communicate its definition to me at that moment. I felt that it could have been green or black, a hut or, a planet, or whatever. It took the form needed to communicate what it was, intimate to the voyeur. I also knew that anything that I “saw” would follow those same laws, it’s details only limited to the symbolic vocabulary of the perceiver. I, the beam, zoomed through a clear central road, which perfectly divided the shimmering city. As I passed by the first building, my mind was splashed with information so fractured that it was almost trivial. Again my instincts kicked in and I knew not to focus on any of the info. I took a meditative mental demeanor, allowing the details an uninterrupted flow. In, and, then out. Besides, there was so much information flowing into my mind that at any instance of containment, my mind would have been filled to capacity or blown!
Even traveling at the speed of light, I was able to see the “end” (the city stopped abruptly with nothing visible beyond it, like an island surrounded by nothingness) of the city approach, at the same time the information was steadily simplifying. It was like absorbing a tree, twigs first, to branches, leading to one trunk, where all branches became one. The information became mathematical, again transitioning from complex equations beyond my comprehension to the simplicity of 1+1. The end of the city was the seed of the “tree”. Every thought, feeling, truth, energy, reality, etc., unraveled from the one, and became the all. Before I could take a break from the bombardment of realizations and reflect, I began to travel backward through time. Starting at the moment prior, I was aware of existing on the bed twice, then of the catalyst of my experience.

Time continued to reverse, and I relived my entire life, spiraling backward I heard my mothers heart beat while I was in her womb. One last retreat and I was at the moment before this incarnation, one with all. In a flash I understood the answers to my questions, I understood the accuracy of karma, I understood the amazing love that exists ‘in-between’ out incarnations. That place where all of our loved ones always exist. I understood that that ‘point’ in time was also me looking forward into my future, then. Ultimately, the choice that takes place before incarnating, the reason for forgetting past lives.
My answers are not static however, and are limited to my perception at any given point, which may change. Therefore, I also encourage the questioning of my ‘answers’.

I hope to inspire you to question.