48: How will I know when I've found my soul mate?
I usually like to begin by defining key words in a question, in this case ‘soul mate’, to help align ideas in our communication. This is one of those instances where the main term means so many things to so many people, I’m going to have to take the liberty to define ‘soul mate’ in regards to how the question was asked. You see, some people define a ‘soul mate’ as a soul outside of yourself that you encounter in more than one lifetime. They then go further to described different types of ‘soul mates’ including friends, teachers, children and others, that we are drawn to, or interact with us, during different incarnations. The type of soul mate that many people refer to is called a ‘twin flame soul mate,’ which I found defined as; someone that you have spent multiple lifetimes with, you will be unhappy without he/she, and there is usually just one of them. It seems that you are referring to this type because you used the word “my,” which implies singularity. The thing is, the word “my,” also implies possession, which is one of my problems with the idea of a ‘twin flame soul mate’. You see my time spent in Nirvana revealed a love that is not possible among the limit of two beings, it is a beautiful love of ALL, and the need to posses a ‘thing’ is a part of our ego. In between our incarnations, when we are consciously aware of our connection to God/the universe and each other, there is no separation between us that needs to be remedied through possession! Another thing that I disagree with concerning the definition of a ‘twin flame soul mate’ is that it says that we will be miserable without our twin flame completing us. I have been in love many times, we had ups and downs, but rarely were we miserable. It’s just not healthy to put your ability to be happy on an external factor, like another being!
At the same time, using logic and mathematics, it makes sense to me that each one of us has a counterpart that is the most compatible for us. The question is, compatible for when? The most compatible for every life-time, for this life-time, for this half of our life, for this decade, for this year, for this day, for this moment? We are all dynamic, we change all the time, and so do our needs and our goals. Also, what we think we need isn’t always what we actually need. Do we need someone that is just like us to re-enforce our beliefs or someone that’s different to challenge them?
I believe that at the moment we are born and our umbilical chord is cut, we instinctually feel disconnected, because we are to a major degree. We try to re-connect by clinging to things, people, ideas etc. but ultimately we need to fine-tune our connection to God/the Universe to ‘re-connect’ to all things at once. This is an infinite and ongoing task, during which people are brought into our life to assist us in our fine-tuning. The more we change, the more likely that different people/types of people will be needed to facilitate further change. The opposite is also true, if the members in a couple remain exactly the same and don’t want to change, it stands to reason that they will be able to remain together with limited effort. Just remember that nature abhors stasis, what’s not growing is dying.
The love that we feel we are actually missing, can’t be filled by an individual, it must be filled by God. Since God is within us all, we feel God’s love through each other (and of course inside ourselves). It is true that most of us see God in its purest form through love of another person, that’s why we praise romance. It’s the people in it, but it’s the God in it too =) Use the love you learn for another to apply love to us all. The love that we aspire to have, for a perfect soul mate, should be defined by acting that love out on everyone and on ourselves.
Regardless of who is our perfect match ultimately, trust that God/the Universe/karma is bringing people around us because those people are whom we need to learn from (at that particular time.) There are some things that you can do to aid in this process. First off, you have to know yourself. I know that we are dynamic but we still have certain traits, ways of thinking, perspectives, etc. Next determine in what ways you need to grow. Combined the ways that you need to grow, with the qualities that you want in a partner, and write those items down. Prioritize your list and you should have a pretty good starting point in what to look for in a partner. Use the law of attraction, meditate or flat out ask God to bring this person into your life. It always works for me… I just don’t always ask for the right things – or I’m given what I need but realize it too late! When people are brought into your life, love them. You don’t need to worry about the past or the future. If you make a commitment, do your best to abide by it, and love completely. If it doesn’t work, repeat and try again. Love yourself completely and complete yourself as much as possible. This will give you a stronger foundation to explore relationships. Use your time alone to focus on you, that’s why you’re alone at that time. Transfer any feelings of loneliness to understand that in the future you will appreciate love that much more!
At the same time, using logic and mathematics, it makes sense to me that each one of us has a counterpart that is the most compatible for us. The question is, compatible for when? The most compatible for every life-time, for this life-time, for this half of our life, for this decade, for this year, for this day, for this moment? We are all dynamic, we change all the time, and so do our needs and our goals. Also, what we think we need isn’t always what we actually need. Do we need someone that is just like us to re-enforce our beliefs or someone that’s different to challenge them?
I believe that at the moment we are born and our umbilical chord is cut, we instinctually feel disconnected, because we are to a major degree. We try to re-connect by clinging to things, people, ideas etc. but ultimately we need to fine-tune our connection to God/the Universe to ‘re-connect’ to all things at once. This is an infinite and ongoing task, during which people are brought into our life to assist us in our fine-tuning. The more we change, the more likely that different people/types of people will be needed to facilitate further change. The opposite is also true, if the members in a couple remain exactly the same and don’t want to change, it stands to reason that they will be able to remain together with limited effort. Just remember that nature abhors stasis, what’s not growing is dying.
The love that we feel we are actually missing, can’t be filled by an individual, it must be filled by God. Since God is within us all, we feel God’s love through each other (and of course inside ourselves). It is true that most of us see God in its purest form through love of another person, that’s why we praise romance. It’s the people in it, but it’s the God in it too =) Use the love you learn for another to apply love to us all. The love that we aspire to have, for a perfect soul mate, should be defined by acting that love out on everyone and on ourselves.
Regardless of who is our perfect match ultimately, trust that God/the Universe/karma is bringing people around us because those people are whom we need to learn from (at that particular time.) There are some things that you can do to aid in this process. First off, you have to know yourself. I know that we are dynamic but we still have certain traits, ways of thinking, perspectives, etc. Next determine in what ways you need to grow. Combined the ways that you need to grow, with the qualities that you want in a partner, and write those items down. Prioritize your list and you should have a pretty good starting point in what to look for in a partner. Use the law of attraction, meditate or flat out ask God to bring this person into your life. It always works for me… I just don’t always ask for the right things – or I’m given what I need but realize it too late! When people are brought into your life, love them. You don’t need to worry about the past or the future. If you make a commitment, do your best to abide by it, and love completely. If it doesn’t work, repeat and try again. Love yourself completely and complete yourself as much as possible. This will give you a stronger foundation to explore relationships. Use your time alone to focus on you, that’s why you’re alone at that time. Transfer any feelings of loneliness to understand that in the future you will appreciate love that much more!
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